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Well, since this is a motorcycle site, I guess Ill delve into how I got started in the whole moto-biz. I've been riding legally since I was a young lad of 16. Started out with oodles of enthusiasm and one severely faded learners permit, "C" class no less. I am a self-taught biker hooligan and initially only had problems with premature clutch release. My girlfriend told me that I was just too excited and anxious and assured me it happens to everyone. Eventually though, I enrolled myself in the MSF course and have been legally crashing bikes ever since. From this horizontal riding fetish I learned a lot about motorcycles that simple maintenance wouldn't have taught me. You crash for the learning experience you know... Recently, I've gotten into the sport-touring side of motorcycling and have developed calluses on my buttocks that enable me to tour vast distances on my 1.2liter FJ.

One of the most important lessons in life I've learned, is that the amount of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action. I tripped on this malicious tree root on my way to class yesterday. I fell flat on my face…couldn't even attempt to play it off. I got up and was really pissed at the damn tree as I had stubbed my little toe in the process. When I hobbled all the way back to my appartment, I was so pissed I had to take a nap. Well, I had a dream about chopping the tree down but after I got about two chops into it, it grew a face and said,

"only you can prevent forest fires Chris". Now I'm afraid of that tree. I guess that't why some people say I'm a superstitious person…I believe in things like Mountain Dew® will make your testicles shrink, and every time you hear a cricket chirp it means a viag-ra assisted FJ lister is getting an erection. But I don't let it interfere with my life.

I am currently a junior in Mechanical Engineering and German at the University of Texas in Austin. I speak German, English, and part Ebonics. I can get loco in Spanish and pick up Asian girls in Manderin. That's the extent of my language ability, aside from the stray colorful vocab I've picked up from friends and travels around the world. I've been lucky enough to have seen most of Europe, North America, and SouthEast Asia so far. I really would like to go dive in the coral reaf by Australia. Which gets me to my hobbies: I enjoy auto-crossing my friends cars, Formula SAE, S.C.U.B.A diving, inline skating, mountain biking, street hockey, traveling, computers, and listening to music. My music tastes have been described as "mad wack" as I enjoy a wide range of melodies including classical, rap, alternative, hard rock, and punk. As long as its not K-K-Kountry Jones bitchin' about his hound dog leaving him or Mmmbop'n blonde girlies , I'll get as wild as to tap my foot to the beat (being of cracker decent, I have no rhythm to speak of and dance properly only when highly intoxicated). I especially enjoy aggressive music that stirs me up like my favorite bands KoRn and Distrurbed. They're stupid-fly!

Now if you have seriously wasted your time reading all the way to this anti-climatic albeit gloriously cheesy end, go get a job or something. But if you are a cute pathetic Asian Mistress of the Night, please send butt-naked pictures of yourself here! For the rest of you, go look at the damn Ducati pics already.